Bet they never spared a prayer for my soul.

You can mark my words that I said it first, in a mourning warning no one heard.

When the first stone's thrown there's screaming, in the streets there's a raging riot.

When it's "burn the bitch" they're shrieking. When the truth comes out it's so quiet. 

So they filled my cell with snakes, I regret to say: Do you believe me now?

old habits die

  SCREAMING  

Was any of it true? Gazing at me starry-eyed. In your jehovah's witness suit, who the fuck was that guy? You hung me on your wall, stabbed me with your push pins. In public showed me off then sank in stoned oblivion. Because once your queen had come, you treat her like an also ran. You didn't measure up in any measure of a man. And I don't even want you back, I just want to know if rusting my sparkling summer was the goal. And I don't miss what we had, but could someone give a message to the smallest man that ever lived? Were you sent by someone who wanted me dead? Did you sleep with a gun underneath our bed? Were you writing a book? Were you a sleeper cell spy? In fifty years, will all be this declassified? And you'll confess why you did it and I'll say "good riddance", because it wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden. I would've died for your sins, instead I died inside. And you deserve prison but you won't get time. You'll slide into inboxes and slip through the bars, you crashed my party and your rental car. You said normal girls were boring but you were gone by the morning. You kicked off the stage lights but you're still performing. And in plain sight you hid, but you are what you did. And I'll forget you, but I'll never forgive the smallest man who ever lived.

it was legendary,

it was momentary,

it was unnecessary,

should've let it stay buried.

I saw in my mind fairy lights through the mist. I kept calm and carried the weight of the rift, pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away. My spine split from carrying us up the hill, wet through my clothes, weary bones caught the chill. I stopped tryna make him laugh, stopped tryna drill the safe. I stoppеd CPR, after all, it's no use. The spirit was gonе, we would never come to. And I'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free. And you say I abandoned the ship, but I was going down with it. My white-knuckle dying grip, holding tight to your quiet resentment. And my friends said it isn't right to be scared every day of a love affair. Every breath feels like rarest air when you're not sure if he wants to be there. So how much sad did you think I had in me? How much tragedy? Just how low did you think I'd go before I'd self-implode? Before I'd have to go be free? You swore that you loved me, but where were the clues? I died on the altar waiting for the proof. You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days. And I'm just getting color back into my face, I'm just mad as hell because I loved this place for so long, had a good run. A moment of warm sun, but I'm not the one. Stitches undone, Two graves, one gun. You'll find someone.

a greater woman has faith
but even statues crumble if they're meant to wait

hand on the throttle, thought I got lightning in a bottle
oh, but it' s gone again

we never painted by the numbers, baby

but we were making it count

"I wish I could touch you again

I wish I could still call you friend

I'd give anything"

There was a time I thought that you did everything right
No lies, no wrong, I must've been out of my mind
So sad you're hurt, did you expect me to care?
You don't deserve my tears, I guess that's why they ain't there

Thank God you blew it, I thank God I dodged the bullet
I'm so over you, so baby good lookin' out

I used to want you so bad, I'm so through with it

Cause honestly you turned out to be the best thing I never had
And I will always be the best thing you never had
I bet it sucks to be you right now

But do you honestly expect me to believe we could ever be the same?

You say that you'd take it all back, given one chance.
Before you go tell me this: was it worth it?

i was never ready for this, trust is my everything and you knew it.

i'm never gonna be that person. one wrong step, and that's exactly where you lost me.

but maybe this thing was a masterpiece

                  till you tore it all up                  

you ruined us

where was that man who'd put blankets over my barbed wire?

I made you my temple, my mural, my sky

but I was begging for footnotes in the story of your life

drawing hearts in the byline

always taking up too much space or time

you assumed I was fine

but what did you do when I

broke free and left us in ruins,

took this dagger in me and removed it

gained the weight of you and then lost it

believe me, I had to do it

was it all in my head? tell me now

tell me I've got it wrong somehow

I knew my love should be celebrated

but you tolerated it

fdm:
I still find songs that reflect the way I felt
at the very end,
hoping one day you'll understand the reasons that I never had
the nerve to say

y o u   a r e   s u c h   a   d r e a m   t o   m e

𝕀 𝕟𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣 𝕤𝕒𝕨 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕘

𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕀'𝕝𝕝 𝕟𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣 𝕓𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕤𝕒𝕞𝕖

love how my face fits so good in your neck

𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑖𝑓 𝐼 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑏𝑢𝑟𝑛𝑒𝑑, 𝑎𝑡 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑤𝑒 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑒𝑙𝑒𝑐𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑓𝑖𝑒𝑑

I've got so much love

Got so much patience

I've learned from the pain

I turned out amazing

I've loved and I've lost

But that's not what I see

'Cause look what I've found

Ain't no need for searching

And for that, I say

Thank u, next

Si ahora que está cerca lo echo de menos, cuando estemos lejos me va a doler más.

Quizás algún día mejore. Quizás algún día no te llore.

Let me photograph you in this light, in case it is the last time

that we might be exactly like we were before we realized.

We were sad of getting old, it made us restless.

It was just like a movie, it was just like a song.

When we were young.

ser de luz
siempre en mi
#25

Leaving to find my soul, told him I had to go.
And I know it ain't pretty when two hearts get broke.