Bet they never spared a prayer for my soul.

You can mark my words that I said it first, in a mourning warning no one heard.

When the first stone's thrown there's screaming, in the streets there's a raging riot.

When it's "burn the bitch" they're shrieking. When the truth comes out it's so quiet. 

So they filled my cell with snakes, I regret to say: Do you believe me now?

Was any of it true? Gazing at me starry-eyed. In your jehovah's witness suit, who the fuck was that guy? You hung me on your wall, stabbed me with your push pins. In public showed me off then sank in stoned oblivion. Because once your queen had come, you treat her like an also ran. You didn't measure up in any measure of a man. And I don't even want you back, I just want to know if rusting my sparkling summer was the goal. And I don't miss what we had, but could someone give a message to the smallest man that ever lived? Were you sent by someone who wanted me dead? Did you sleep with a gun underneath our bed? Were you writing a book? Were you a sleeper cell spy? In fifty years, will all be this declassified? And you'll confess why you did it and I'll say "good riddance", because it wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden. I would've died for your sins, instead I died inside. And you deserve prison but you won't get time. You'll slide into inboxes and slip through the bars, you crashed my party and your rental car. You said normal girls were boring but you were gone by the morning. You kicked off the stage lights but you're still performing. And in plain sight you hid, but you are what you did. And I'll forget you, but I'll never forgive the smallest man who ever lived.

it was legendary,

it was momentary,

it was unnecessary,

should've let it stay buried.

I saw in my mind fairy lights through the mist. I kept calm and carried the weight of the rift, pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away. My spine split from carrying us up the hill, wet through my clothes, weary bones caught the chill. I stopped tryna make him laugh, stopped tryna drill the safe. I stoppеd CPR, after all, it's no use. The spirit was gonе, we would never come to. And I'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free. And you say I abandoned the ship, but I was going down with it. My white-knuckle dying grip, holding tight to your quiet resentment. And my friends said it isn't right to be scared every day of a love affair. Every breath feels like rarest air when you're not sure if he wants to be there. So how much sad did you think I had in me? How much tragedy? Just how low did you think I'd go before I'd self-implode? Before I'd have to go be free? You swore that you loved me, but where were the clues? I died on the altar waiting for the proof. You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days. And I'm just getting color back into my face, I'm just mad as hell because I loved this place for so long, had a good run. A moment of warm sun, but I'm not the one. Stitches undone, Two graves, one gun. You'll find someone.

a greater woman has faith
but even statues crumble if they're meant to wait

hand on the throttle, thought I got lightning in a bottle
oh, but it' s gone again

I will leave my heart at the door, I won't say a word,

they've all been said before, you know.

So why don't we just play pretend,

like we're not scared of what is coming next, or scared of having nothing left?

I don't need your honesty, it's already in your eyes,

and I'm sure my eyes they speak for me.

No one knows me like you do,

and since you're the only one that mattered, tell me who do I run to?

Look, don't get me wrong, I know there is no tomorrow.

All I ask is...

"I wish I could touch you again

I wish I could still call you friend

I'd give anything"

where was that man who'd put blankets over my barbed wire?

I made you my temple, my mural, my sky

but I was begging for footnotes in the story of your life

drawing hearts in the byline

always taking up too much space or time

you assumed I was fine

but what did you do when I

broke free and left us in ruins,

took this dagger in me and removed it

gained the weight of you and then lost it

believe me, I had to do it

was it all in my head? tell me now

tell me I've got it wrong somehow

I knew my love should be celebrated

but you tolerated it

fdm:
I still find songs that reflect the way I felt
at the very end,
hoping one day you'll understand the reasons that I never had
the nerve to say

Here's the thing: you're in love with a version of a person that you've created in your head, that you are trying to but cannot fix. The only thing you can fix is yourself

ᴛᴏᴅᴏ ᴇɴ ʟᴀ ᴠɪᴅᴀ sᴏɴ ᴍᴏᴍᴇɴᴛᴏs

Si ahora que está cerca lo echo de menos, cuando estemos lejos me va a doler más.

Quizás algún día mejore. Quizás algún día no te llore.

Let me photograph you in this light, in case it is the last time

that we might be exactly like we were before we realized.

We were sad of getting old, it made us restless.

It was just like a movie, it was just like a song.

When we were young.

ser de luz
siempre en mi
#25

Leaving to find my soul, told him I had to go.
And I know it ain't pretty when two hearts get broke.

Stop pretending

'cause we're going down


 

unkiss me, untouch me, untake this heart

PEOPLE

CHANGE



AND PROMISES ARE BROKEN. I WON'T EVER EXPECT YOU TO BE THE ONE I FELL IN LOVE WITH, THAT PERSON IS ALREADY GONE

Take your eyes off of me so I can leave, I'm far too ashamed to do it with you watching me. This is never ending, we have been here before. But I can't stay this time, cause I don't love you anymore. Please stay where you are, don't come any closer. Don't try to change my mind, I'm being cruel to be kind. I can't love you in the dark, it feels like we're oceans apart. There is so much space between us, maybe we're already defeated. And everything changed me. You have given me something that I can't live without, you mustn't underestimate that when you are in doubt. But I don't want to carry on like everything is fine, the longer we ignore it all the more that we will fight. Please don't fall apart, I can't face your breaking heart. I'm trying to be brave, stop asking me to stay. We're not the only ones, I don't regret a thing, every word I've said you know I'll always mean. It is the world to me that you are in my life, but I want to live and not just survive. That's why I can't love you in the dark, it feels like we're oceans apart. There is so much space between us, maybe we're already defeated. Cause everything changed me. And I don't think you can save me

You should've been there, should've burst to the door with that "baby, I'm right here" smile. And it would've felt like, a million little shining stars had just aligned, and I would've been so happy. Christmas lights glisten, I've got my eye on the door just waiting for you to walk in. But the time is ticking. People ask me how I've been as I comb back through my memory, how you said you'd be here. You said you'd be here. And it was like slow motion, standing there in my party dress, in red lipstick. With no one to impress. And they're all laughing, as I'm looking around the room. But there was one thing missing. And that was de moment I knew. And the hours pass by, I just wanna be alone, but your close friends always seem to know when there's something really wrong, so they follow me down the hall. And there in the bathroom, I try not to fall apart and the sinking feeling starts as I say hopelessly, "He said he'd be here". And it was like slow motion, standing there in my party dress, in red lipstick. With no one to impress. And they're all laughing, asking me about you. But there was one thing missing. And that was de moment I knew. What do you say when tears are streaming down your face in front of everyone you know? And what do you do when the one who means the most to you, is the one who didn't show? You should've been here. And I would've been so happy. And it was like slow motion, standing there in my party dress, in red lipstick. With no one to impress. And they're all standing around me singing "Happy birthday to you". But there was one thing missing, and that was the moment I knew. You called me later, and said "I'm sorry I didn't make it", and I said "I'm sorry too". And that was the moment I knew.

24/04/2016

I know you're thinking I'm heartless

I know you're thinking I'm cold

I'm just protecting my innocence

I'm just protecting my soul

You're practically my family

If we married then I'll guess you'd have to be

But tragically our love just lost the will to live

But would I kill to give it one more shot

I think not

So I'll watch your life in pictures
like a I used to watch you sleep
And I'll feel you forget me 
like I used to feel you breathe
And I'll keep up with with our old friends
just to ask them how you are
I hope it's nice where you are


Forever the name on my lips